I want to be me……………..

I am a teacher, nurse, accountant, doctor,engineer, pilot. I am the business man of the year, the envied sportsman. My songs top the charts, and millions sit down to watch me on the big screen. I am that guy who mends your shoe, the tailor who sew your favourite dress. I cut your hair and I serve you in a restaurant.

I am that boy next door, that girl you sat across in high school. You see me everyday. We talk, laugh, hold hands and hug. We share a meal, ideas and even clothes. We are best friends. I am your father, mother, brother, sister, cousin, uncle or aunt. We go to the same church, sing in the choir together. We are roommates , classmates, workmates  of flatmates.

I am human, a citizen of this country. I have dreams and wishes for myself and  my nation. I am a leader who meaningfully contributes to the development of my community. I am a mentor or role model to others.

Nature is an amazing intricate thing. Whatever you believe in creation or evolution but one thing we agree is nature tends to be mystical and mythical and man strives to explain it. We have plants, animal and fungi. We have fish ,birds, mammals, amphibians, anthropods and reptiles. We have humans, elephants, dolphin, whales. We have Africans, Americans, Asians, Europeans. The rainbow has many colours. It’s diversity that makes this world beautiful.

Every individual has a unique DNA which makes us all different. That doesn’t make anyone less human. It’s the beauty of nature and its secrets. Though we want to control the world and put it in a form that suits us, nature has a way of outsmarting us making us realize that we are merely its product and therefore do not have the authority to determine which part of its form is natural or unnatural.

You ask me why are you gay then. The truth is I don’t know. I don’t know if there was a mutation in my DNA as I formed in my mother’s belly. I don’t know if it was my parent’s polarized wishes that confused my creator resulting me  being stuck in the middle. I don’t know if some invisible forces of power invaded my brain, deleted my past identity and took control of me. I don’t  know if my society , family and circumstances pushed me to be how I am today. But what I know very well is I did not decide or apply to be who I am today. The same way you did not consciously choose to be attracted to the opposite sex is the same way I found myself where I am today.

I make noise because I want to be heard. I want to be heard because I have a voice, I am human.  I would be quiet if being myself did not compromise my getting a job. My mouth would be shut, if I wasn’t subjected to hate, torture, bullying and violent death because I am different. I would not bother you if you didn’t sing songs of burning me on a stack, decapitating or making me rot in jail for a crime I did not commit. I would not ask for your attention, if you viewed me as an equal,  a fellow human being like you.

I live a life of fear, fear of being found out and losing family, friends and loved ones. I smile everyday even though your hate speech jaggedly cuts through my heart while you choose to be ignorant of my gushing blood. I do not ask for a lot. All I want is your love, tolerance and acceptance. I want to be viewed the same way you view others, as humans. I want to enjoy the right or privilege to love and be loved without fear of being incarcerated for expressing my love. I want to be me…………………………………………….

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