Behind closed doors

Some of the country’s greatest business minds were gathered at the most prestigious hotel in town. They were looking executive and professional with serious business faces throwing in their academic jargon explaining some not so amicable trends if translated to usual lay man’s language. The room was obviously perfectly conditioned but it had been a long day and after such a heavy lunch I had to keep my mind activated in order to stay awake so I had a train of the weirdest thoughts ever. The dominating one was what each one of them could have been doing the previous night,

That lady sitting on the opposite table looked very stern and rigid. She probably went to her hotel room and spent the whole night finishing up her presentation. She struck me as one who does not mix business and pleasure. However the one next to her appeared super wild and adventurous. I bet she had explosive sex, and was riding it like a wild horse. I subconsciously gave a naughty grin because damn she was quite a turn on. Her nice slender legs, firm ass and boobs you just simply want to sink into, wow whoever had her must have had a time of their life. Then the dock next to her was probably jerking to some porn because that the closest he can ever get to a naked woman. Then Mr Mischievous who is trailing every hot associate probably banged a prostitute last night. The last one on the table seemed like a faithful wife who is probably a cougar in her husband’s bed.

At least I got back to my senses before the train of thought got out of control. For a split second I saw everyone differently. I briefly lost respect for them because of the image of some of them sweaty in various possible sexual stances. I quickly regained my “dignity” and felt disgusted with my brief perception of each one of them. I wondered what my fiancee would take of my thoughts and her perception of me afterwards.

Sexual intercourse is a wonderful thing that every person at some point in their life craves to have and a huge chunk actually gets to explore the brief orgasmic world whose effect is not comparable to any drug. However that same thing can twist your mind and changes how you view a person. If your first impression of an individual is of a sexual nature, it will be difficult to respect a person afterwards. The point I am getting at is everyone in this room has mutual respect for the other because of our primary goals. We work together with most of them and some for years but our relationships never go beyond work. Occasionally we go to the bar get tipsy and start talking about soccer, sex, girls, sex, girls, politics, soccer, women, sex, ladies and sex. However because of the atmosphere and circumstances we rarely feel awkward around each other the following day because that sexually laden discussion was done in an appropriate environment.

My best friend John, we met at university. What brought us together  was how we were the only two people from my country in our house. John became my twin and we were inseparable. He knew every chick I banged and every wild thing I have ever done or had. I was the devil and he was always the saint. Goody goody two shoes always complaining about my lack for respect for women. He is the guy who turned me into the mature guy who stole the heart of my fiance. Well John never talked about girls. I used to pester him a lot, with no success until I just started calling him my monk friend. Then four years of our friendship, being roommates in the past three, the idiot confessed that he was gay. I thought it was a joke but he looked serious. I freaked out and when he tried touching my hand I pushed him away and called him a fagot, chichi man queer. I was furious and thought of all those moments I undressed in front of him, and he was probably checking out my ass or dick or whatever. I went outside and got super drunk and had a plan to hire a prostitute to fuck the homo out of him. My fiance then called me asking for me to meet her and I knew she was definitely taking his side. I was so wasted that she suggested that we talk after I had sobered up. I spent the night at her place and the following morning and a massive hang over and that idiot decided to join us for breakfast. I told him that ever since the confession I saw him differently. I then asked him how many guys he had fucked or whichever way and he looked at me straight in the eye and said none. I then asked him how he knew he was a fagot and he gave me the long boring lecture but to cut the long story short it took me a month to fully understand and accept him and I partly did it for my girlfriend. Then came the day when I had to meet his boyfriend. We had a double date and I was super uncomfortable, I had accepted that he was gay but seeing him with another guy made me nauseous. Especially seeing them holding hands and I just could not stand it and blurted it out. My lady then decided to put me on sanctions which I thought was irrational because I had just expressed my thoughts. She apologized on my behalf and now we had to have lunch with them every other day and dinner once a week and I had to earn back some of my privileges. I was only allowed to touch her hand or kiss her after I was comfortable seeing these two showing equivalent signs of affection.

Anyway we are still best buddies and he has been dating this dude who turned out to be an amazing architect for almost two years. The interesting thing about our friendship is I see John and not his sexuality. What is in the forefront and what cements our friendship is who he is and not who he sleeps with. We rarely talk about our sex lives because of our mutual respect for our partners but each day our friendship grows stronger.

I have a gay friend I can use to claim that I am not a homophobe. What I find annoying about some gay people is how they want to rub me their sexual lives in my face. You might argue that as heteros we get away with public show affection but let’s be honest because society deems it as acceptable and normal and that how we were socialized. The natural reaction is to resist whatever threatens our perceived ideal. It took me long to accept my friend and now I am comfortable with him and his partner smooching or being all cosy and lovey dovey when we visit them. My plea to the gay community is be patient with us. Instead of just flooding us with your lifestyle, introduce it bit my bit. Make us understand and know you then we will find it easier to embrace you. I am not justifying homophobia but I am speaking for myself. Having an impression and putting emphasis or knowing anyone on the basis of their sexual lifestyles be it hetero or homo completely builds prejudices which will be difficult to break. My friend still thinks I am still a bit homophobic to other……


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